I feel I accomplish NOTHING

By Nana Rachall Latest Activity July 3, 2012 at 4:30 pm Views 3,058 Replies 25 Likes 12

Nana Rachall

For a long time when all of my health went crashing down. I couldn't do much of anything. As this has gone on I see my husband having to do so many of the house hold chores, errands etc. This just made me frustrated and depressed. I love taking care of others. I love doing for people. It is not in my nature not to.
So with some thought and a little help from anti depressants I have come up with a "tool" that works for me.
I keep a journal. This is my medicine journal where I log my 14 plus meds a day to be sure I take everything and on on time. I also log blood pressure and how I feel.
Along with all of that, as the day goes on I list what I did.
Example:
Washed my lunch dishes
Fixed lunch
Took dogs in and out to yard
Fixed Marks dinner
Showered

Some days it is very simple or very few due to how I feel. Other days I am amazed at the end of the day what I did. But each day I see that I did something and that makes me feel better.

I also have reconnected with folks on Social sites. Family and friends. I can't get across town to see my grandson like I use to. So we have invented Skype breakfast. He gets his food ready and I get mine. We visit and talk and he reads me books (he is 3). And again I feel like I am helping because his mommy gets cleaning done or some quite time while I "Skypesit" as she calls it.

Please let me know if you have other ideas and I hope these come in handy for you.

It's a beautiful thing,
Nana

  • Report Report as inappropriate
  • Share
    Email Email
    Print Print Twitter Twitter
    Facebook Facebook

Replies (25 replies)

Add your reply Reply Down
  • SassyKatt
    SassyKatt August 1, 2012 at 7:06 pm   

    Loved your article. Excellent advice! I learned this method from counseling some years ago. Then you realize that you did accomplish things. Not acomplishing everything or as much as I used to was one of the hardest things for me to accept b/c I was an overdoer. Now I take one day at a time & focus on what I can do now. Music also helps me get motivated. The funkier, the better!

  • kittenpurr1
    kittenpurr1 August 2, 2012 at 12:06 am   

    You sound like me. But the other day at my hearing, when the Judge ask, "What do you do all day? " I was upset about them not having the correct records, and my mind went somewhere, b/c I only could think of a few things. After leaving there, I have now made a memo of the things I do, which I am going to send him a copy, after I clean it up. I was just writing down things, and there's a lot we do, that just we do, that we don't even think about b/c it's out of habit.

  • SassyKatt
    SassyKatt August 2, 2012 at 7:25 am   

    I have to write down lists & notes now. I think the medications affect my memory. Other people say it's b/c I'm aging, but I had a terrific memory. When I had to start taking medications, I had trouble focusing & my thinking process was some much tougher.

  • kittenpurr1
    kittenpurr1 August 3, 2012 at 12:55 am   

    There is nothing wrong with a making list, and keeping notes. So many times we are busy, our mind is consumed with so many things, and some medications can put us in a fog like state, it's better to have a list when you have to go to the grocery store, b/c if not, we always forget something, and it's usually the main thing we need to prepare a meal.
    Fribromyalgia can cause the thing called Fibro Fog, but we all forget things at times. There's a lot of things that can help boost the memory, too. Different herbs and spices. Just make sure they don't interfer with medication, if you use them.

  • acebass
    acebass August 1, 2012 at 9:06 am   

    Great idea! Most of the time, we DO accomplish much, but only FEEL as if we don't. I like that list, especially the shower part! If I don't shower, I don't have to get up and dressed, but as the late James Brown said 'That makes things Funky!!!'

    My solution is usually to find something I've been procrastinating about; something I don't even want to THINK about doing. Then I'll cut it down to size and do it!! That pulls me right out of most Funks I can get in.

    Your Pal,

    Rob
    Ace of Baseness
    'The dirt keeps the Funk' - The late James Jamerson (famous Motown Bassist)

  • dollarbillstories
    dollarbillstories July 17, 2012 at 9:18 am   

    beautiful!

  • Palm Princess
    Palm Princess July 15, 2012 at 7:58 am   

    I absolutely love this!!! Especially the Skype breakfasts :) I'ld be so lost if it wasn't for my daughter's Skype dates with me…

    Your daily list of tasks accomplished is a super idea, I'm going to implement that :)

    This sort of reminds me of the "Happiness Journal" that I used to encourage friends/family that would only see the glass as half empty to keep. I would tell them, "Every day, at the end of the day, write down 5 good things that happened to you that day. If there are more, write them down. But write at least 5." The theory is that if you see the good side you can program yourself to recognizing the good. Something for you to try as well.

  • Dr Gary
    Dr GaryCA July 12, 2012 at 7:25 pm   

    Nana,

    This is incredible. What an inspiration. One step at a time, one task at a time, one day at a time. You are taking good care of yourself!

    I hope this post gets a lot of eyes!

    Gary

  • Nana Rachall
    Nana Rachall July 12, 2012 at 10:29 pm   

    Thanks for your kind words :-)

  • Nana Rachall
    Nana Rachall July 5, 2012 at 9:03 am   

    :-) wow now I have to change my mood. You made me feel good. I am sorry for your loss but so glad you were in a position to enjoy and appreciate that time with him.

  • Lana
    LanaPA July 5, 2012 at 12:19 pm   

    Thank you, Nana Rachall. So often people are taken from us without warning. In my brother's case, we were given time to say goodbye and set differences aside. Everyday, I am grateful for that.

  • jimmyjaws
    jimmyjaws July 7, 2012 at 9:44 am   

    thankyou that gives me great insighjt into how to deal with my emotions opn handling certain situations

  • Lana
    LanaPA July 5, 2012 at 8:57 am   

    From experience, I know that being sick takes away independence – not necessarily all of it but some of it. Similarly, I am a take care of others person so I can understand your frustration. The important part of living successfully with chronic illness is to find a new kind of normal. Right before my diagnosis, I was pregnant with my son, now 4, working a high paying but stressful job, and studying for my law school entrance exam. When I got sick, I knew that I could not work fulltime, attend law school, parent, and be sick. So, my plans changed. In the beginning, I hated what rheumatoid arthritis and fibromyalgia did to me and took from me. I had to make choices that resolved around RA and fibro being a part of my life. I left that high paying stressful job to a less stressful one and took a pay cut. I decided to work on a master’s degree in legal studies rather than ending law school. As a result, I put my health and my children first. In October 2010, my 31 year old brother was diagnosed with cancer and two months later, we lost him. If I had been busy with law school and a demanding job, I would not have been able to be by his side in his last few weeks with us. In my view, everything happens for a reason. RA and fibro, although complex, made me stop and smell the roses and see what is most important in my life. I don’t dwell on what I have lost and if anything, I am happy to finally have the opportunity to take life one day at a time.

    Thank you for posting this Nana.

  • Calamity Sue
    Calamity Sue July 4, 2012 at 9:33 am   

    This is a great idea, Nana Rachall. Thank you for sharing.

  • MJette
    MJette July 4, 2012 at 6:42 am   

    It must be wonderful to have a partner who truly understands what you're going through. When my life came crashing down, I was a busy mother and worked as a journalist. I had just purchased a home with my fiance a year before and the future looked so bright.
    Then came Fibromyalgia and everything came crashing down. I worked for two years with it before giving into the constant pain and stress that it caused. Instead of helping me through that difficult time, my fiance decided that I was no longer useful and therefore, wanted me out of his life.
    Hence, I lost not only my job but also the man I loved, our beautiful home, and any self-respect that I might have had prior to this. Needless to say, I fell into a deep depression.
    I am so happy to hear that at least some of you have had supportive and loving partners.

  • SEROLOD
    SEROLOD July 4, 2012 at 6:23 am   

    I noticed a Huge accomplishment- You either married a man that is actually sympathetic to your situation- or you have done a great job getting him there.
    I Too am a big nurturer, was used to being the Ideal wife/ Mother /housekeeper/ with a full time job on top of that.
    Since my Diagnosis I have surrendered those titles -
    except that my husband Didn't Get the M E M O.
    I had to resort to Anti depressants last yr., So glad they are helping you - They made me moodier & woke me up every 2 hrs. & If I don't sleep at least 6 hrs straight I can't even get along with myself to say the least.
    Therapy really helped & that's when My Journaling began, leaving all of the negative feelings on paper helps me to feel better thus reacting differently to situations beyond my control.

    Love the Skype/breakfast/sitting - Isn't Technology Great !
    Enjoy your 4th of July !

  • Nana Rachall
    Nana Rachall July 3, 2012 at 11:32 pm   
    Edited July 3, 2012 at 11:33 pm by Nana Rachall

    Well next time you have hand strength you can add writing in journal as an accomplishment. I have missed many entries due to hands. My brain is racing to set up options for that :-)

    Anne (Nana)

  • kittenpurr1
    kittenpurr1 July 3, 2012 at 11:06 pm   

    You have accomplished something, even though you don't feel that you have, you have. That's cool about you and your grandson sharing breakfast together.

  • chroniccyn
    chroniccyn July 3, 2012 at 11:40 pm   

    Reflection is great when looking back at how much we do every day. when looking back to almost doing nothing—seeing something done is encourging

  • kittenpurr1
    kittenpurr1 July 4, 2012 at 12:14 pm   

    Yes, it is. :)

  • kittenpurr1
    kittenpurr1 July 3, 2012 at 11:05 pm   

    Some days are very hard to even get out of bed and face the day, but when I reflect back over just some of the things that I have done, then I know that I have accomplished something. I too, have a journal, ha- I stopped writing in it, b/c my hands hurt to write.

  • PandorasPandemonium
    PandorasPandemonium July 3, 2012 at 6:47 pm   

    NANA, Love your message, especially your breakfeasts with your grandson!!!! Awesome!!!! I have also discovered that if you can't do something one way, with a little imagination, you can always find other ways of accomplilshing your goals. I realize that on some days being productive is out of the question, and I have to allow myself as much time as it takes to rest and regain my strength. During those times, I joke that the world will have to go on without me until I feel better. If I accomplish one little thing every day, and that could be as simple as taking a shower, I feel that I have been productive. I know that each and every day I have done my best, and that is all that matters. : )

  • chroniccyn
    chroniccyn July 4, 2012 at 12:10 am   

    AMEN SISTER—you are Spot on

  • tyedie 1
    tyedie 1 July 6, 2012 at 9:42 am   

    Some days are hard to get moving but if I can do at least 2 chores that day then I have accomplished something.Like washing dishes,taking care of my pets, or doing laundry. Then there are days to just rest and it is okay to let things go. It is hard for me to slow down but I have to listen to my body's needs.

  • chroniccyn
    chroniccyn July 6, 2012 at 4:27 pm   

    You are doing the right thing. It is hard to pay attention to oneself, when you have always cared for others and worked etc. But for our own sake we have to do just what you are doing. Credits to you.

Hide the Social Toolbar Show the Social Toolbar