I need some extra support dear friends

By marydoodle Latest Activity March 4, 2012 at 2:04 pm Views 2,576 Replies 12 Likes 3


I am having a big crisis, me, besides all my ailments, I also am morbidly obese, I need to loose at least 180lbs. When I write it I feel totally grossed out at myself, that I let myself go so bad, my doctors all want me to have that bariatric surgery, I was even scheduled for it, but then I found out I tore the menicus in my right knee, so I had to have that repaired before I could have the other surgery, because of the exercise plan after surgery. But the surgery on my knee was a disaster I now need a cane to walk some days I can't straighten my leg completely the pain is just the same if not worse,my RA & internest both said I will need a knee replacement but I told them no thanks , I scared to death as to what could happen if I did that, but I digress, Since I was diagnosed 5yrs ago the weight has just kept piling on a little every year,& my husband bless his heart tries to do everything for me & if I ask him to make me something to eat like a sandwich he'll give me 2 with chips, & if I get up to do something my youngest son & my husband jump up & tell me to sit & they'll do it for me. I know its my fault, I'm the one taking their help, no one is forcing me to eat anything & no one but me is keeping me in this bed. I have at 20 month old granddaughter who doesn't know me because my son lives on the top floor & its 20 steps to his front door. He gets mad at me because I don't see her, and it breaks my heart, I just can't seem to get motivated. I can't stand myself and I don't know what to do, well I do, but I thought if I reached out to all of you, maybe it would give me the incentive I need, tough love included. Thanks for listening and I'm looking forward to your support. Peace

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Replies (12 replies)

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  • kittenpurr1
    kittenpurr1 March 16, 2012 at 2:02 am   

    Hang in there. It will take some time, but just think about everyday, and what you need to do, if you mess up, don't kick yourself, just start over, again. Best wishes

  • blondie68
    blondie68 March 11, 2012 at 8:43 am   

    I know how you feel.Once you gain weight and then develop problems,it adds more weight when you cant get around.I have severe sleep apnea and underactive thyroid.My knees are bad.One is bone on bone.I am starting to use an exercise bike to lose some weight.If i walk outside i am afraid my knee will give out and i will fall.I know all my medical problems are from being overweight.I am starting to go through the gastric bypass process.I do not hink i can lose it long term.I need o have surgery.I tried weight watchers.It helps but if you are severly overweight sometimes surgery is better.I am wasting to many years to yo yo diet thats why i am considering surgery.So i know how you feel.I hardly leave my house.I now have depression from it.And i am missing out on having fun with my kids.I know surgery is just a tool and that i must change my mind of the bad eating habits so i keep the weight off.I know i will stay this way and keep complaining until i get up and do something about it.Good luck to you.If surgery is not an option for you.Weight watchers is the best program out there.You have to track your food wich is great because you are concious of what your are eating and how much.You are allowed so many points in the day.When you use your points you are done for the day.Not gonna lie i was starving at first lol.But,it just wasn't working for me.I have too many health problems so i need to move faster.I feel surgery is my only hope.

  • acebass
    acebass March 9, 2012 at 5:25 pm   

    congratulations - the first step is making the decision; it's often the hardest step. I hate to admit it, but I used to be a very successful personal trainer many moons ago, when I was back in NY.
    I know for a fact that if you give up or reduce your intake of salt, any kind of sugar, and any kind of fat, you'll lose weight. After the first 30 days or so, your body chemistry will adapt and the cravings will subside.
    The best exercise for weight loss is an exercise bicycle with light tension. and the seat high enough that your leg is almost straight at the bottom of the stroke. The goal is to move your feet quickly, in a circular motion (spinning) and get your pulse rate into the aerobic zone (probably about 120 - 130); too high is no good. You need to keeo it up for at least 25 minutes to start burning up weight. Of course, you should run this by your doc and make sure it's ok.
    Anyway - Everybody here has good advice and we're all rootin' for you, and just remember that I'm not a trainer anymore, just an over the hill, lame bassist who's trying not to go deaf - What key was that? Do What??
    Hang in there, Mary - we're all here for you!!!

    Your Pal,

    Ace of Baseness

  • hannah88
    hannah88 March 8, 2012 at 6:55 pm   

    Read eat to live by doctor Joel fuhrman. He specializes in treating autoimmune diseases with diet. So you will get the benefit of losing weight and helping your ra. It's pretty awesome

  • Dr Gary
    Dr GaryCA March 8, 2012 at 12:49 pm   

    Hi marydoodle!

    You were so honest in your post. it is heartbreaking to read how much your are struggling, how unhappy you are right now. As others have said, it is one step at a time — one tiny step — and one day at a time. You might ask your family to team up with you to eat a little more healthy, maybe help you to replace the chips (my weakness!) with veggies. Maybe ask them to support you in doing just a little bit more for yourself — you might make this fun by doing things together. Again, one step at a time. And you might ask your doctor for some suggestions to help you manage your weight better.

    As you can see, you have a LOT of people here who care about you. Including me!

    Please keep us posted and let us know how we can help.


  • redfish99999
    redfish99999 March 7, 2012 at 7:35 pm   

    Support…but, you have to help yourself…all of the prayers and good wishes will not help you unless you help yourself

    There are lots of diets to help you get started with weight loss…cleveland clinic diet for one…an omega 3 diet can also help you get going…Good luck

  • sanders2004
    sanders2004 March 6, 2012 at 7:14 pm   

    Yes u may email me pmsanders2004@yahoo.comEmail Small. Please put in subject from arthritis connect 1st time so I will know. Only open emails that I know who from. Good luck at WW, a lady at my work has lost over 100 lbs in a year. Paula

  • marydoodle
    marydoodle March 6, 2012 at 6:03 pm   

    Thank you all for your advice & support it brings tears to my eyes to find such kindness. I am going to take a little of everyone's advice, I have been getting up & walking around the apt if I don't have errands to run or do some laundry, which is a double bonus I guess (LOL) & I just got an advertisement in the mail today for Weight watchers for free registration, so I'm heading over there tomorrow better not to put it off otherwise I won't go. I'm the queen of excuses! So I'm just going to start this journey one step at a time thanks again & I hope you won't mind if I send you all an email if I need some help. thank you peggyjane, holl motley, marieanne, & sander2004. Peace to all of you

  • peggyjane
    peggyjane March 5, 2012 at 8:07 pm   

    Small steps. You can do it. Start with small changes, like cut out soda pop or something. You can definitely cut portion sizes. I find I have a sweet tooth, so I make sugar free jello and put some fruit in it, and when my sweet tooth craves, I have jello. It comes off much slower than it went on, and don't beat yourself up if you backslide, just start again. Your family will need to get on board with you. When your husband is preparing something for you, dictate to him, just one sandwich please. If he brings you two, ask him to wrap up the second one and save it for another meal or do what my hubby does if I overfill his plate, and feed it to the dog. I hate to hear that you aren't motivated. Is it possible that you have some depression going on? Maybe you need an antidepressant, or if you are on one already, maybe you need a change or a dosage adjustment.
    I know that the medications we take for our illness can cause weight gain, so we have to be especially on our toes. I have put on some extra the past few months and need to get a handle on it. I refuse to buy bigger clothing, so I will have to take weight off to keep wearing what I have. Good luck and know that we are all pulling for you. Share your victories, and even your failures here and we will cheer you on. God bless you, you can do it!!

  • holly motley
    holly motley March 5, 2012 at 1:51 am   

    I myself have fibromyalgia. Degenerative arthritis in my back and neck. I am considered morbidly obese. (ugh such an ugly word). Anyway I just joined weight watchers. It works great. I do it with my mom. It's a very simple plan to stick with. If you would like to know more email me. Hollymotley@yahoo.comEmail Small. I started 4 weeks ago and have lost ten pounds. I work full time. I am a single parent and as much as I would love to go back to the gym. Unfortunately it's impossible. Even walking as caused problems leading to me taking a week off from work. Weight watchers works. Good luck my friend. :)

  • marieanne
    marieanne March 4, 2012 at 8:25 pm   

    Hi sweetie, we are here for you. :) please don't be so hard on yourself,
    no one of us is perfect, or even close. I am going to suggest a few things
    that come to mind, they may or may not work for you. First thing though-
    are you able to move about? Is your knee holding up at all? If you are not
    able to move around safely, do some exercises in bed, have a schedule
    for this & be strict about sticking to it. If you are able to walk without
    hurting yourself, do so, also on a set schedule. You are probably feeling
    very overwhelmed and probably somewhat scared too. Empower yourself
    by starting with a written plan, a daily plan that you know you will be able
    to complete. Write it down, even to the detail of how far you will walk
    & for how long but start out small & work your way up. I don't want you
    to feel overwhelmed & thus fail. Find out a good diet, one that will help
    you lose weight, but not sudden weight loss which is not good for you.
    Stick to this diet, not letting anything change it. You might consider
    getting a health coach, these help with all issues- the food, weight,
    and the exercise. I hope this gives you some ideas to help you get started.
    Look ahead to where you want to be & picture it often in your mind-
    this will help you get there. If you are able, don't let your family do
    anything for you that you can do for yourself, soon you will feel empowered
    to be on your way to these goals on your own & feel much better
    about yourself. Also, I would recommend making an agreement with
    whomever you choose to be your coach- for instance: when you lose
    maybe 10-15, have a reward for yourself such as new clothes, shoes,
    handbag, whatever you choose to keep yourself motivated! You can
    do this & we are here to support you! Hugs, marieanne

  • sanders2004
    sanders2004 March 4, 2012 at 4:00 pm   

    U have to make up ur mind to loose the weight so u will feel better. I found out a few weeks ago I have bone spurs in my neck & back and that is causing my pain all over my body. I have good days and bad days. I have really been trying to loose weight since I found out. I want to loose about 100 lbs. we can motivate each other. Are u on FB? Good luck u can do it!!!

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